The Art of the Wedding Speech: How To Craft an Evocative Tribute

More than words strung together, a wedding speech is an invitation. A thread in the tapestry of a textured narrative. A chance to pause amidst the revelry, to acknowledge the weight of a moment, and to weave together the past, present, and future in a way that feels both intimate and expansive.

A well-crafted speech does more than recount – it resonates. A potent wedding speech has the power to mark time. It is an offering, a gift of words meant to capture something ephemeral and make it tangible.

But crafting such a moment requires care. A balance between levity and sentiment. A rhythm that feels effortless yet intentional. The best speeches are neither rehearsed performances nor meandering soliloquies; they are reflections of connection – earnest, nuanced, and deeply personal.

To help craft a speech that feels both natural and profound, we turned to five expert wedding planners for their best advice.

Header Image: Kavian Borhani & Irina and Matej. 

The Poetry Lies in the Personal

The most resonant speeches are those that feel real. The Wedding Company emphasizes, “Real emotions! Most of the vows and speeches which do come from your heart are the best. Couples who include very personal habits and behaviors which they love on each other or parents and friends who include the most memorable shared moments stand out from the crowd and will be remembered.” Whether it’s a heartfelt reflection or a playful anecdote, grounding your speech in authenticity ensures it resonates.

Denise More agrees, emphasizing that sincerity should take precedence over perfection. “A truly memorable wedding speech captures the essence of love, connection, and personal stories. I always remind couples and their loved ones that a great speech should feel heartfelt, genuine, and tailored to the couple’s unique journey.” Instead of aiming for polished delivery, she advises speakers to focus on meaningful moments that reflect the couple’s story.

Locate the Line Between Humor and Emotion

“A truly memorable wedding speech is heartfelt, personal, and sincere,” says Ami Bojang Weddings. “It’s about the authenticity of the emotions behind it. Shared memories, inside jokes, or meaningful moments between the speaker and the couple create an unforgettable speech.”

While humor is important, Moments Lab warns against relying too heavily on inside jokes: “Avoid inside jokes or stories that might alienate guests who weren’t present for those moments or stories that could embarrass either spouse and create tense situations.” Instead, they suggest mixing humor and sentimentality in a way that remains inclusive to all guests.

Denise More echoes this sentiment: “Be authentic and speak from the heart, sharing personal stories of meaningful moments or anecdotes balancing humor and heartfelt sentiments.”

Timing is Everything

A captivating speech is succinct yet meaningful. “Keep it concise! A speech of 5–7 minutes is usually perfect,” advises Denise More. “Guests should feel engaged, not restless.”

If multiple speeches are planned, consider spreading them throughout the evening. Matthew Oliver Weddings explains, “There is nothing worse than having 30 minutes of speeches at the end of dinner, with people entirely unsuited to public speaking, when everyone just wants to head to the bar and have a dance! So to avoid this, keep the number of people doing the speeches to a minimum, ideally 2 people from each side (4 in total).”

He also suggests breaking them up: “If you are doing them all during the wedding dinner, try 1-2 at the start of dinner and 1-2 at the end, spreading them out slightly to break them up. Generally, we advise against doing them between courses, as it can affect the flow and quality of food coming out.”

If certain loved ones aren’t comfortable with a full speech, he offers a solution: “Perhaps they could do a short toast instead? A toast takes the pressure off doing a full speech, and they still get to say something lovely about you.”

See our global edit of wedding planners on The Lane Directory.